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great videos, I love the first and the last one!!
I didn’t videotape the audition and I don’t really see reason to do so; if I check with the concertmaster and the solo viola of the orchestra they tell me not to change anything and it seems like I have a good view on how I did. The problem seems to be that a lot of the players don’t get what I am doing, they don’t hear subtilities. The ‘louder you shout, the more convincing’ they think it is. And I think I was having bad luck with the ‘lotery’ as I had to play right at lunch time and after a few candidates who apparently did really poorly so the mood of the orchestra was becoming frustrated. Everybody I talked to seemed convinced that my excerpts were the best of all candidates so I feel confident about that as well. The overall advice is I ‘just need to carry on’. ‘you will get there, it is just a matter of time’ (the phrase I have been hearing for the past 6 years).
Thanks a lot, your advice is giving me more courage.
Just one more thing you might have advice upon… My motivation to audition was to become bulletproof. I never had this extreme experience of stress where I couldn’t even get close to what I was doing in my practice room, except for when auditioning. Now it seems like I am able to control this, and as I did, my motivation to audition evaporated. I am still eager to play in the orchestra and to get a job, but that is an entirely different thing then preparing an audition and spending so much time and energy on perfecting a few passages and preparing the ugly Stamitz concerto over and over again. I am getting bored of it and I have a life besides auditioning (I have a partner and two kids that also ‘need attention’ – you know what I mean..).