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Hi Luis,
Good question. I think it can vary a bit from person to person. As in, some people do seem to be able to adopt your friend’s type of attitude more easily than others. Some are more concerned with negative evaluation than others, as an example. But it IS something you can work on, and get closer to, and isn’t necessarily easy for everyone, so don’t get discouraged if it’s not like a light switch that you can just flip on one day. For instance, one thing that many athletes or coaches talk about is the importance of focusing only on what you have control over, and practice adopting this kind of mindset. In that you don’t have any control over how an audience will respond, or what they will think, or whether they are even listening, so it can be liberating to let go of these things and focus your attention on the things you do control (like breathing, staying focused on the present, keeping fingers loose, etc.).
CBT can certainly play a role in this as well, if there might be some anxiety-triggering thoughts around self-worth being tied to performance outcomes, for instance.
Noa
